I have to say, this morning I woke up with such a sense of excitement...exhilaration even, for my day to begin. Over the past few days I have opened myself up to people regarding my weight issues... I was terrified at first. I thought, "okay Chelsea...yes, people know you're fat, but do you really have to talk about it??" And the answer is YES!!
The more my words flow past my lips (or fingertips), the more empowered I feel! I have struggled with this for far too long, and carried the burden of my embarrassment alone. BUT... I can't be ashamed anymore... I won't be... I am genuinely trying to change my life, and getting this shit out is therapeutic! (pardon my language!!)
So, I could not sleep last night, knowing that in the morning (today) I would be headed back to school to finish up my nursing education... I tossed and turned, paced, played Tower of Glass on my phone, then resumed tossing and turning. It was during one particular toss/turn that I decided I would hit the gym first thing in the morning before class. My alarm went off at the ungodly hour of 5:30 am and I rolled myself out of bed, ate a banana and some almonds, chugged some water, and out the door I went.
I went to the Y, and hopped on a treadmill, and the first song on my iPod was "Dog Days Are Over", which I loooove! And I don't know what happened...the part where she says "run fast for your mother, fast for your father, run for your children, for your sisters and brothers..." it was like an anthem in my head. That's what I am doing... I am running (okay, walking fast) for my family...as well as for myself! With each step I took, my determination grew and grew and grew.
Before I knew it, my workout was done, and I waltzed my way back outside listening to "Moves Like Jagger", while my ass bounced behind me, doing it's OWN moves like Jagger :) But here's the kicker... I didn't care! I didn't care if anyone was gawking at my wobbly bits! I felt great! I got myself there, I endured the workout, and rest assured I will do it again! And again and again (and probably a billion more times).
So, to those of you who are supporting me, encouraging me, spurring me on, giving me tips, loving me despite my flaws, and standing beside me through this... THANK YOU! From the bottom of my heart, your words and actions mean more to me than anything. Thank you for allowing me to open up, and be honest about this.
In the words of Sean Hayes...."Ah yes, this is powerful stuff..." This blog, this determination I have, this fantastic support, this whole concept of finding myself....this is powerful stuff. And I plan on using it! Thanks again, everyone :)
I love your honesty, truly you are amazing and brave and I totally admire your willingness to put yourself out there. Good job for getting up early and getting to the gym! It's one step at a time and every step matters.
ReplyDeleteSo proud of you!!!
ReplyDeleteThanks so much, gals!! :)
ReplyDeleteI'm so excited for you Chels! You're going to do great. thanks for letting us tag along in your success story that you're writing!!!!
ReplyDeleteHaha! Thank YOU for tagging along! I love all the positive feedback... Thanks so much!
ReplyDeleteWow, super motivated reading that, I LOVE a fabulous first day! YOU GO GIRL!!!! I want to jump on board!!
ReplyDeletePS LOVE the changes to the blog!! So FUN!!
ReplyDeleteChels - YOU are so inspiring! And a fantastic writer:)
ReplyDeleteI recall a text from you that you thought it would be a bad weight loss week, and you owned it! Good for you!
I wanted to tell you this posting of yours is the one that inspired me to get back on track and get to the Y. I usually sleep all morning and only get up an hour before I have to go to work at 12 or 1. I decided that I've had enough of that, and I am going to start my days early like the rest of the world and get to the Y and take my Daisy for more walks. I am meeting Tonya at the Y in 20 minutes. I am looking forward to being able to go with you too once we can figure out a time that works for us.
One last thing - keep up with the blogging! Dave and I said we would write a book about our weight loss, but we forgot all the little details that matter so much, like the first time I could cross my legs again, the first time I sat in the lecture hall and had the desk over my lap and it didn't touch my legs, the first time my Lane Bryant jeans would slide off without unbuttoning them, and so on. Sharing those little victories is so exciting. I'm looking forward to reading about all of yours, and continuing to be inspired:) Rock it girlfriend!!
Thanks so much, Tina!! I'm so glad you are feeling encouraged, and yes, I was wrong... It was a great weigh-in today!! So excited for our progress and so happy to have you doing it with me! And I think you and Dave SHOULD write a book... What an incredible story you have and what an inspiration to people you are! Keep it up girlfriend! :)
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